Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
