he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
