i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
