So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize