Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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