She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
