Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
