he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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