I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
