I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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