And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
