I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
