ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
