i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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