They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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