This girl is more easily done than said...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
