Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
