Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
