You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
