Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
