Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
