Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
