The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
