She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
