I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
