The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
