does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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