The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
