Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
