yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
