Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
