and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
