i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
