Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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