remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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