I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
