i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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