Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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