when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't turn off my feet"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize