im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
