doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
