i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
