nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
