he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
