I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
