no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
