2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
