The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
