I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
