she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
