dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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